Well, it’s been six days since the bomb was dropped. Today was better. I’m in a better place. I took my mom to the spa this morning for a pedicure. I needed to do something to take my mind off of things for a bit, and this helped. It also helped my mom was there too. I have so many feelings about all this when it comes to her. She has helped me through this, and she will be with me daily to help with my recovery. I know she wants to do it, and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else… but I still feel bad. At 32 I still need her to take care of me, and that just seems wrong. What a total mess this is. My mom is one of my best friends in the entire world. I so hated the fact that I had to come home a few days ago and say those 3 dreaded words. I know she is scared too, she’s just too strong to show it.
My mom and I haven’t always gotten along. What teenage girl and their mom do? But, after I got married and started having children things changed. I became a grown-up, and no longer a child. A big turning point was when my grandma died. I swear it feels like yesterday. My mom adored her, and as I grew into a woman, I in turn adored her too. She was everything to us, and when she died a piece of us died with her. We leaned on each other, and became close friends. Even best friends.
So maybe today is a day to reflect. I adore my kids, my husband, and my family more than anything. There is nothing I won’t do for them…that includes beating Cancer too 🙂