waiting to get bloodwork to see what my count is… hopefully it is! I do live with 2 children, so I have to be realistic;)
Monthly Archives: February 2013
As my kids just left with John for taekwondo, my heart broke. Even on my off weeks of chemo I may still feel like shit and not be able to do things??? what the hell?? I don’t even get a break for one day and seem like a normal person. Although as I sit here with no breasts at 32, how in the world can I mumble the words “normal person?”
I am upset. That was my job! That was my duty! Then cancer comes and ruins my entire life. I can’t do the things I use to, and can’t be around the people I use to. Seems unfair to me. This is 4 months of hell, maybe more and it seems like a lifetime. Life is precious and I feel as though I am missing special days and moments with my kids. I don’t need a reminder to thank the Lord everyday I wake up…but some days it’s not easy to see through the fog of cancer. Damn. 😦
Shave or not to shave?
So today, while laying in the tub I had an epiphany. Looking at my legs…do I shave or not shave? Ever since my surgery shaving hasn’t been top priority…but in my head all I hear is “Damn Jen you can hang Christmas ornaments on those things.” 😉 So do I wait for the chemo to take that hair too? I really have no clue at all. Remember, I have done no research on cancer yet..and this is no exception. I asked my doctor what are chances I will lose my hair and he says “100%” Now, I do like to gamble occasionally, but those odds seem a bit strong. What I forgot to ask is when? and where first and last? I was thinking my wig is good for my head…but I can’t wear press on eyebrows! lol So, I will do what I have always done. I will blog and write each day as it is given to me. Anyone that reads this will learn everything the day I learn it as well.
Why is it that my hair is what I’m thinking of? I have CANCER! at 32 years old and my brain in thinking “oh no, I hope I don’t lose my hair.” How crazy am I? I guess growing up I was never the prettiest. Or the thinnest. Or any other things.. but I have thick dark Italian hair and I can rock a headband like no other! Maybe it was a part of me I was never self-conscience about…and now I’m about to be. Oh well…The mind takes you all over the place late at night;)
My end on a good note: John I shaved my legs:) you’re welcome.
Just a quick check-in. 🙂 Went out today for the first time since chemo last Wed. It was sooooo nice! I went to Kmart with my mom and tried to stay away from everyone;) I also helped pick Sophie up from preschool.
Overall, today has been a good day,but sadly the doom of next Wed. still hangs over my head:(
Well I haven’t blogged much because I couldn’t. You get a shot the day after chemo that gives you flu symptoms …because I have never had the flu I had no idea what to expect. Well….it stinks. In my whole life I have never had the flu…or had a flu shot (shush I don ‘t want to hear about it;) Well, it knocks you on your ass. I haven’t been able to sit still and feel antsy.
Yesterday alone, I took 2 showers, 11 baths, and went in the hot tub. So, today is a bit better. I am off narcotics and starting to seem like myself. But, reality has set in I have to deal with this for 4 months…. SHIT:(. That stinks. I have a a feeling the moment I feel better, it’ll be time again for chemo.
My dad drove all the way to see me today. He put a smile on my face, and got me out of bed. That was sweet of him, and shows what a good guy he is . A three hour drive, just to see me for a bit.
End with good……… well, I don’t feel like I’m going to barf at the moment. And one month of my website= 7,028 views—yeah!
I also tried on 2 hats I have been given. One someone knitted, one they gave me at the gun range. 😉