Yesterday I felt like I had made some progress. Today….not so much. The impending doom of chemo Wednesday is all that I am thinking about (that, and the fact I can’t leave the house.)
This is just how it goes, and the reason for the blogging. No two days are ever the same when you have cancer. Nothing is ever as it seems. It is a world all to it’s own that I can’t wait to get away from it. I guess, I feel like I can’t move forward because something is holding me back…. I just want to move on and never say the “c” word ever again. But, it’s just not that easy.
Oh dear Lord my next actual doctors office visit what the paperwork will be like!! It’s going to take hours to fill it out. I actually starting logging dates into my phone because I was forgetting all my surgeries and so on.
I just want to go back and be “me.” I have never ever wanted that more than now. This so-called “c” word will follow me forever. Whether it’s paperwork…or insurance…or the endless bills that we are about to be flooded with.
End on a good note: John I love you. You, the girls, and our families are the only things that keeps me from fully losing my mind…and my faith.