Well, I have a lot of things on my mind tonight. Tomorrow marks the 2 month marker for chemo and my halfway mark if everything goes as planned. 4 treatments down, 4 to go. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. After this treatment my chemo drug will change to something stronger that will require steroids to be taken during. I’m scared about that.

The other things are more emotional and I won’t go into that here. All I will say is cancer is hard. It’s hard on yourself, your spouse, your kids, your family and so on. From the moment I heard the words “you’ve got cancer”
things have changed. I wish most days I could just go back in time and change it all. I don’t want this for myself, or anyone else for that matter.

I just want to go back and just be me. Something that is impossible to do.

I will end on a good note and say that my faith has really helped me through this. I trust in the Lord that it will all be okay in the end. That He has has some plan for me I just don’t know about. My faith has taught me to love myself for what I am on the inside, and not my reflection in a mirror.

1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

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