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Rick & Yviea Brown 🙂
Category Archives: Love
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Debbie Davis
https://takingitfromthetop.com/
It will wait…
It is 12:40 and I so want to blog about all the things racing through my head… but that will take forever;)
After I take Sophie tomorrow …. I
will chat. 🙂 xoxo
Kaylee turns 10
Today my oldest turned 10 years old! I almost cannot believe it. Where in the world did a decade go? Today was definetly different. She tried waking me up at 7am wondering where her gifts were and I was too sore to even move. I had a heating pad on my breasts, and an ice pack on my armpit.
This whole weekend I wanted to devote to her and I feel as a mother I let her down. She went to her grandparents, had a fun sleepover, stayed up, ate junk food…and I really had nothing to do with any of it. I realize how lucky I am to have a wonderful family to fill
in for me while I’m on the Injured Reserved List…but as a mother…at the core of being a mom…I felt like crap.
This is my baby, and it’s my job to do it all.
At the end of the night I told her I Ioved her dearly and I hoped next birthday I could make it up to her. She agreed.
Cancer Gala
Yesterday was the Cancer Gala
and boy was I tired today. We had a good time and got out of the house without the kids for a bit, so that’s always a good thing 🙂 It’s hard to explain, but even though I realize all 500 people there didn’t know I had breast cancer ….in my mind I thought they did.
Like maybe there was some big red target on my back…or shall I say “rack” 🙂 lol . Without my hair I definetly felt like a different person. Considering the event, it wasn’t really a bad thing just something I noticed.
Here are a few fun photos 🙂
My favorite Uncle Mark
I just got an amazing phone call. For those who don’t know my family, Mark is my uncle. My moms brother, that I mainly reference as “Marky.” He is everything to me. He is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle creature on this Earth I believe.
Growing up I knew Mark was a bit different. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew he was.
See, he has Down Syndrome. He lived at home with his parents his whole life. When his dad died, that made him the man of the house! A role that fit him well. The problem started when my grandma (his mother) started to get sick. His mother was everything to him, and when she got sick…he sort of got sick too. And in my heart I believe the day she died, a large part of Marky died too.
Recently his brother died too, and I believe he has lost all faith in humanity as well. Why is it the people we love, die and leave us alone? Recently he found out I had cancer, and I know he is scared. In his heart he believes I will leave him too.
My aunt Cindy called earlier and let him talk to me and I know it made him feel better. I try to send letters, and packages , and we visit as much as we can…but it’s not easy when he is in Ohio. He visited last summer, and most he does. I load the kids, and my mom
in the car and drive the 6+ hours to Ohio to see him and bring him back to Missouri. I spend every waking minute spending as much time as possible with him. I want him to know i love him and will do anything for him.
I know he is scared. But, I’m not going anywhere. i can’t wait for him to visit and see that I’m okay this summer:)
Time:
When John and I first met he had a Seiko watch. Then as years passed he upgraded…then lost that one…then upgraded…then lost that one. Today I gave him a new one. The card explains it all 🙂
It’s Time to Start this Journey !
Well, my latest update I will wait to update till I am at the hair salon and away from John. I told him at 11:30 I was going to get my hair colored and curled for the Cancer Gala tonight. What I didn’t say, is I was getting it all cut off today too.
I tried to think of the least scariest way to remove my hair before Chemo without scaring my girls to death. So, a few days ago I decided today I would get it mostly cut off, and when the remainding few inches fell out, then we would shave it and it would be less tramatic. But, as I sit here I sort of want to puke!
I’ve already losts my breasts and feel like that was almost punishment enough. Losing my hair too…that’s just plain cruel.
But, it is…what it is:) In a few minutes I am going to wash my shoulder length hair. Put in my favorite 1970’s hair curlers I got at the Goodwill years ago, and look at myself for a few more hours and probably just cry.
This was me…and this chapter is about to end. The silver lining is my best friend since I moved to Rolla is cutting it. Her name is Ashley Tichenor and we have been through it all together. Happiness, joy, laughs, boyfriends, tears, saddness, love…and then this. Whatever this is.
But, above all else, I trust her. She will make me beautiful no matter what, and I wouldn’t trust anyone else in the world more than her. I will take picture today to update 🙂 Hugs and Kisses
Taking it from the top 