Well, its midnight and i officially can’t eat or drink till after my surgery. I have so many things on my mind. I tell my husband it’s like having multiple personalities. Half of my brain says “way to go, you found this early and will survive” and the other half says “why am I being punished? why me?” Tomorrow is a very big day in my life. It will change my life for eternity. I am sad I am losing my breasts and have no idea how I’ll feel without them. They make you a woman, and I won’t have them. On the other hand it will make it easier to do self exams etc. So, I’m torn. Well, better head off to bed tomorrow is a big day. Before I end I want my husband to know, and my family to know that they are everything to me. They are the reason I get up everyday and they are the reason I will fight this.

To my husband: I adore you. You are everything to me and there is no way I could do this without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

This is true love John Marc.

To my kids: You are my world. I have loved you both since the moment I knew I was pregnant. You have brought so much joy into my life and I can’t breathe without you. I hope I can be half the mother my mom was because that would be amazing! I am always with you both.

To my mom & dad: Mom thank you for everything you did for me and will continue to do. There is no way I could beat cancer without you both. You showed me how to be a great parent and I am forever grateful. Dad, thank you so much for sacrificing and letting mom stay awhile to help. I know you will miss her, and it means so much.

Well, time for bed. xoxo