It happened:

It’s here. I’m overwhelmed. My mom has been my right hand gal and I couldn’t ask for better help. She is everything to me, and she is the one who will help me the most through this. How lucky am I?

Everyone wants to help, and I really just don’t know how. Most of this stems from the fact that I am still in shock.

Maybe even in denial. Why do I need help, I’m 32? I should be healthy.

How is it that a few weeks ago I was bitching about going to some stupid Cancer Gala (I jokingly call it the Senior Citizen Prom) 🙂 the hospital was supporting, and now I am supposed to go… but as a Cancer patient myself?

It just reminds you that everyday is not a given. You are not guaranteed this life you think you deserve, but a life you are given and learn to be thankful for. The small things.

I got a call a bit ago and I am again filled with fear. 4:00 Thursday my surgeon want to see me. Now for all those who don’t know this routine…getting called into the office is usually not a good thing. Now, granted I have bandages, drains, tubes, etc. that need checked on…but I have some major results I’m still waiting on. Getting called in the office, especially a later appt. time is never good.

Growing up, when a customer… or boss… etc. would call my dad the first thing he’d always say is:

“Jen, they sure as hell aren’t calling to tell me what a great job I’m doing.”

The same applies to my situation.

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