So, here I am sitting in bed thinking about all the different things people have, and will continue to do for me. I should be happy, but I’m not. I feel bad. I feel bad that because of me they’re going out of their way to buy flowers to send cards to make meals, to help with my kids and just help me out in general. I know that they want to do all this for me, but it still makes me feel a bit guilty.
How in the world am I going to make it up to everybody? How can I ever tell them thank you enough times? I have always been a pretty self-sufficient person that can do most things on my own. And if I can’t…I will sure as hell try. But cancer, cancer is something that I can’t do all by myself and I’m just now realizing it. Will I miss things? Yes, I am sick and can’t do everything I did before. Does that make me sad? Yes.
Cancer affects me, my kids, my husband, my family, my church, my friends, my co-workers, my neighbors and everybody inbetween.
I wish this would all just go away. But, as I sit here with this cold icepack lying on my flat chest I realize I am way past wishes.
Thank you to everyone who will be a part of my journey…I love you all.