Just a ramble…

It’s almost 11 at night and my mind is a bit scattered . Overall I am mad that I can’t do anything. Because of my low blood count I should try to not even leave my house…. that totally sucks! I would love to go to dinner and a movie with my husband before chemo next week…but noooooooo, that’s not going to happen. I feel like I can’t release any stress because I am told to stay home.(and try to stay in bed Doc said)

Yes, I know it’s only for a short time…..but for me 4 months, 16 weeks, 125 or so days…..is a lot. Maybe I’m just now realizing all the days I just threw away before, and am now pissed about. Next week is St. Pats. (if you don’t live in Rolla, skip to the next paragraph:) St. Pats is everything to this town. I am going on my 8th year of living here and have NO clue why? But it is. It’s a college town, and St. Pats is not just another Holiday….. it’s an experience! Now mind you I was married at 21, so at 32 I am far from my prime. Some years we went out, some we didn’t….but now….now I don’t even get to choose. My sorry ass genetics chose for me. 😦

So, I will lay my head down on my pillow and consider this another day behind me on my cancer journey. My back aches from my mattress I’ve hated for years, and now hate even more after being practically being bedridden. You never know how much you hate/love a mattress till your confined to it all day…everyday…for months…and months.

End on a good note: well after the cannoli incident I decided to pick myself up and do the only thing I knew how…pack and freeze all cannoli contents and save for a later date. Giving everyone else in this household ZERO possibility of enjoying it without me πŸ™‚ I felt a lot better after!

Here’s a fun pic of John and I having fun at New Years! Enjoy


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