Well, the day has come. In just a few short hours (because I can never sleep;) both my girls will be off to school. This summer went by so fast, and I wish I could get some more time. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. I know they are both getting older, and this time is precious. I feel like I had to give up so much time while I was sick, I didn’t want to be away from them anymore. So, it was a wonderful summer:) I know the girls enjoyed all the stuff we did together as a family. There are some things in life you can get back, but sadly time is not one of them. I started to get back to the “old me” again… and it felt good. I have so many memories of a great summer with them I wouldn’t trade for a million dollars. Down deep I know my girls better than most anyone else… and I know they needed me. They wanted their mommy to wake up everyday, and tuck them in at night…just the little things I use to take for granted….never again. Life is precious, and I’m not wasting a moment.
So, tomorrow I will no doubt shed some tears. My little girls are growing up infront of my very eyes. I am not exactly sure why I am so emotional… but I am. I think for awhile it will just be fear….. that maybe tomorrow was a day I wouldn’t have made it too if I didn’t do that breast exam and find cancer. I was told my kind of cancer was the most aggressive and it gets very bad…very fast. It was enough to scare me. I guess to be honest, I’m still scared:(
I was 8 years away from getting my first needed mammagram…. the doctor said it would have been 7 1/2 years too late for me. So…at 32, with a husband, a toddler, and a 9 year old… this wasn’t something I expected. But, I did it! With the help from the most wonderful friends and family. I kicked cancers ass… and this bald mama will proudly walk into school tomorrow with a smile on my face and realize just how lucky I am to be here.
God had mercy on me, and I am forever grateful. I went through the pitts of Hell…. but tomorrow when I see Sophie & Kaylee walk into their classrooms, I know in my heart I wasn’t ready to leave this Earth. I still had more to do. My family and my children are my whole world. I wouldn’t have done any of the things I did if it wern’t for the fact that I needed more time with them. Moments like tomorrow are the reason Cancer survivors fight every single day…. through the pain… through the hurt…. through it all. At it’s core, making memories is what it is all about. We don’t want that cut short because of cancer. So we continue to fight…. and never stop.
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