Category Archives: chemo

Life + Cancer…and Big News

https://takingitfromthetop.com/

Well today is Monday, and one day closer to chemo Wednesday. I am getting scared, but I’m ready to put another one behind me and just get it over with. I just keep repeating “just 6 more, just 6 more, just 6 more, ” After this one, I should have 6 more and then I pray I’m done. I wish I could fast forward time 😦

Now, on a brighter note! (John pay attention) I was contacted by the Editor of The Rolla Daily News. Her name is Lynn and she is very sweet. She approached me and asked if I would do a big article for the paper. It will be a “photo journal/day in the life of” sort of a thing. I was nervous at first, but then I thought if I put myself out there, maybe just maybe some young girl will see my face and make sure she too does her monthly self exams.

See cancer is a funny thing… it doesn’t care about your age or your race…it doesn’t care who you are. I’m a good example. Who am I? Just some mid western mom living in a small town raising a family. Nothing special… nothing different. I’m just like other people, and I hope this article portrays that. The whole “it can happen to you too,” sort of applies here.

So, I’m nervous. I want to make sure it’s perfect (and I don’t just mean my hair;) I want good info that women can use if they are under/uninsured and where to turn to if they find a lump. The one thing you don’t want to do is wait. Most cancers don’t allow that.

It’ll portray how just a regular mom with kids and a husband deal with
life + cancer. So, long story short a lovely lady will follow me all around on chemo day and see what all this fun is about 😉 lol. and at the end of the day hopefully she learns a few things about me and makes sure she does her self exams every month.

On a totally separate note I want to make a shout out to my brother Curtis. He lives in IL and I can’t see him often and miss him terribly. I know this journey would be easier if he was closer. So this is just a shout out to say Love You Curt. Proud of you and miss you. 🙂 peace

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well, everyday can’t be perfect

Sadly this morning hasn’t gone as well.
I want to get out of this house so bad, and can’t. My body has let me down, and it seems unfair.

Sophie threw up in my bed from a tummy ache in the middle of the night, & my husband is on my last nerve, and it’s barely 9:30 in the morning. Here’ to hoping the day starts looking up!

Today…a turning point

https://takingitfromthetop.com/

Today was a big turning point for me. For the first time since I was diagnosed I felt like me again. The real me, not the newer sicker me. It was WONDERFUL! I still had a few moments of tears today, but overall I was optimistic. That is something I haven’t seen in awhile.

See cancer is a crazy thing. It can make your mind take you to your lowest low…and your highest high. All in a split second. My morning was mostly spent complaining that I can’t leave the house at all. I woke up pissed, and felt I’d probably be that way the rest of the day. Now, this is where things get interesting…. Then all the sudden as I cleaned the house, and did chores I was allowing my brain to finally focus on something else. It worked! I wasn’t thinking about chemo in a few days, or anything really. It was great 🙂

Later in the day is when I started showing signs of optimism. I was looking at John and I said “Hey guess what, after this week I only have 6 chemo treatments left.” Where the hell did that come from???? I have no idea. I decided to see my glass half full instead of half empty and that hasn’t happened in a really long time. It felt good:)

I also gave my husband 2 or 3 amazing hugs tonight. It was everything I could have ever wanted or needed. At first I did think about my breasts not being there, and then all the sudden I realize it only means I could hold him closer 🙂

I realize that sometimes my mind is all over the place. Cancer can bring out so many emotions and actions you’d never dream about. You can be everything from mad, to pissed, to angry, to hurt, to sad, to grateful, to loving, to happy, to peacful. Every single spectrum of emotion. But, the funniest part is…. it’s okay to be any, all, or some of those things. No one will judge you when you have cancer and feel those feelings. Maybe even some sort of rite of passage:) So, who knows what tomorrow brings, but today was alright in my book. Chat more tomorrow:)

Here is a photo taken the night I was diagnosed. I was so scared. I feel like I have come along way since January 16th at 5:15pm 🙂

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Quiet…shower

I’m all alone this morning for the first time in awhile. The house is totally silent. No husband, no mom, no kids fighting… just me and my thoughts.

So I decide to take a quiet hot shower listening to a favorite song of mine “Pinks, Just give me a reason.” (it’s actually playing now while typing;) I cry through most of my 45 min shower and I have no clue why. On a positive note: John take notice. I have another day with my hair, so that’s a positive thing. The ritual is as follows.

step 1:
Go into bathroom and turn on shower. Turn off most lights.

step 2: undress in the dark away from the small mirror with doors that was installed recently.

step 3: take off my clothes without really looking down whatsoever. Jump in shower.

step 4: Looking straight ahead lather up as loosey goosey as possible trying not to really notice what area is being touched. Just.Get.Clean.

step 5: Pour a small amount of shampoo into my hand and lather my locks. At this point it’s important to remember not to do the (is my hair falling out test, that comes later) Just wash and rinse. Again, not much touching.

step 6: Test time. Run my hands gently through my hair and do the “tug” test. I grab my wet hair and tug gently. Then I bring my hand around to my face and quietly whisper The Lord’s Prayer and pray for a miracle. (today I passed the test and live another day with hair!)

step 7: I turn off the shower and just stand there for a bit. Facing forward I grab a towel and dry off as fast and as quick as possible. Trying especially hard not to touch anywhere in my breast area. I don’t want to feel scars etc. So it’s best to avoid. I always bring clothes into the bathroom now. Something I never did before. I start to get dressed and just space off while doing this. I get buttoned up as much as I can and dry my remaining locks 4 feet from the small mirror. It’s really short…no need to look anyway;)

step 8: I’m done.

So when they say Cancer changes everything, please remember it sure as heck does. That’s just a shower, you should see my routine for “actually going out and seeing people.” It’s much crazier.

Fo me right now avoidance fits me well. I’m going to go with that for awhile longer. 🙂

Staging:

So my fear happened today. I have a very lovely woman named Carol that goes with me through my process. She is called my Nurse Navigator. (I drive a Navigator too;) lol. Anyhow…she is one who comes to my appts. with me and answers questions along the way. Probably so I don’t annoy the hell out of the staff;)

Well, today I bit the bullet and emailed her to ask her what stage I was. I haven’t been told exactly…but wasn’t sure I was ready to know either. Anyhow, I sent her and email…and wanted to barf waiting on my results in an email back. DING…. that was my phone….Here it is, the email from Carol that will say what stage I am. (holding back vomitting I read)

Your Type of Breast Cancer, as you know, is triple negative: E – negative, P – Negative and HURS2 – Negative, which tells the Dr what types of chemo you need and what your tumor responds to.

The stage of cancer is based on the size of the tumor and if it has spread to lymph nodes or any place else.

Your Stage is 2A – which means your tumor was 2cm – 5 cm (3/4 inch to 2 inches), but it has not spread to any lymph nodes and there is no evidence it has spread anywhere else (that is called metastasis). That is good! This is not a high stage – it goes Stage: 0, 1A, 1B, 2A, 2B, 3A, 3B, 3C, and 4. So you are on the good end of stages and it hasn’t spread!!
———————————————

So… there it is. Jennifer Rose Rigano-Denbo has been broken down into a single letter and number…… 2A

The first thing I did was count the stages to see where I fell on the graph line. ( every cancer patient must do this) Well, I am officially #4 of 9 possible. I’m not exactly sure how to feel about this? Should I be happy, sad, mad? I guess I just don’t know what to think just yet. I am a letter and a number. I guess it could be a whole lot better…but on the flipside….a whole lot worse.

New York Times

With the two articles I read today made me feel not alone. I live in a small town in Missouri and don’t really google things all day long. These two items just landed in my lap, and I am quite shocked. But then again at 32 I was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer…so I’m not totally surprised. I hope women know that this part of their body they are more in control of and should check their breasts monthly. A yearly mammogram just doesn’t seem enough anymore.

It saddens me this is happening and we don’t know why. It also saddens me that it’s happening to me…period.

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February 26, 2013
Study Sees More Breast Cancer at Young Age
By DENISE GRADY
The incidence of advanced breast cancer among younger women, ages 25 to 39, may have increased slightly over the last three decades, according to a study released Tuesday.

But more research is needed to verify the finding, which was based on an analysis of statistics, the study’s authors said. They do not know what may have caused the apparent increase.

Some outside experts questioned whether the increase was real, and expressed concerns that the report would frighten women needlessly.

The study, published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, found that advanced cases climbed to 2.9 per 100,000 younger women in 2009, from 1.53 per 100,000 women in 1976 — an increase of 1.37 cases per 100,000 women in 34 years. The totals were about 250 such cases per year in the mid-1970s, and more than 800 per year in 2009.

Though small, the increase was statistically significant, and the researchers said it was worrisome because it involved cancer that had already spread to organs like the liver or lungs by the time it was diagnosed, which greatly diminishes the odds of survival.

For now, the only advice the researchers can offer to young women is to see a doctor quickly if they notice lumps, pain or other changes in the breast, and not to assume that they cannot have breast cancer because they are young and healthy, or have no family history of the disease.

“Breast cancer can and does occur in younger women,” said Dr. Rebecca H. Johnson, the first author of the study and medical director of the adolescent and young adult oncology program at Seattle Children’s Hospital.

But Dr. Johnson noted that there is no evidence that screening helps younger women who have an average risk for the disease and no symptoms. “We’re certainly not advocating that young women get mammography at an earlier age than is generally specified,” she said.

Expert groups differ about when screening should begin; some say at age 40, others 50.

Breast cancer is not common in younger women; only 1.8 percent of all cases are diagnosed in women from 20 to 34, and 10 percent in women from 35 to 44. However, when it does occur, the disease tends to be more deadly in younger women than in older ones. Researchers are not sure why.

The researchers analyzed data from SEER, a program run by the National Cancer Institute to collect cancer statistics on 28 percent of the population of the United States. The study also used data from the past when SEER was smaller.

The study is based on information from 936,497 women who had breast cancer from 1976 to 2009. Of those, 53,502 were 25 to 39 years old, including 3,438 who had advanced breast cancer, also called metastatic or distant disease.

Younger women were the only ones in whom metastatic disease seemed to have increased, the researchers found.

Dr. Archie Bleyer, a clinical research professor in radiation medicine at the Knight Cancer Institute at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland who helped write the study, said scientists needed to verify the increase in advanced breast cancer in young women in the United States and find out whether it is occurring in other developed Western countries. “This is the first report of this kind,” he said, adding that researchers had already asked colleagues in Canada to analyze data there.

“We need this to be sure ourselves about this potentially concerning, almost alarming trend,” Dr. Bleyer said. “Then and only then are we really worried about what is the cause, because we’ve got to be sure it’s real.”

Dr. Johnson said her own experience led her to look into the statistics on the disease in young women. She had breast cancer when she was 27; she is now 44. Over the years, friends and colleagues often referred young women with the disease to her for advice.

“It just struck me how many of those people there were,” she said.

Dr. Donald A. Berry, an expert on breast cancer data and a professor of biostatistics at the University of Texas’ M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, said he was dubious about the finding, even though it was statistically significant, because the size of the apparent increase was so small — 1.37 cases per 100,000 women, over the course of 30 years.

More screening and more precise tests to identify the stage of cancer at the time of diagnosis might account for the increase, he said.

“Not many women aged 25 to 39 get screened, but some do, but it only takes a few to account for a notable increase from one in 100,000,” Dr. Berry said.

Dr. Silvia C. Formenti, a breast cancer expert and the chairwoman of radiation oncology at New York University Langone Medical Center, questioned the study in part because although it found an increased incidence of advanced disease, it did not find the accompanying increase in deaths that would be expected.

A spokeswoman for an advocacy group for young women with breast cancer, Young Survival Coalition, said the organization also wondered whether improved diagnostic and staging tests might explain all or part of the increase.

“We’re looking at this data with caution,” said the spokeswoman, Michelle Esser. “We don’t want to invite panic or alarm.”

She said it was important to note that the findings applied only to women who had metastatic disease at the time of diagnosis, and did not imply that women who already had early-stage cancer faced an increased risk of advanced disease.

Dr. J. Leonard Lichtenfeld , deputy chief medical officer of the American Cancer Society, said he and an epidemiologist for the society thought the increase was real.

“We want to make sure this is not oversold or that people suddenly get very frightened that we have a huge problem,” Dr. Lichtenfeld said. “We don’t. But we are concerned that over time, we might have a more serious problem than we have today.”

Channel 2 news!

Found this interesting! Seeing how I have breast cancer at 32.

Begin week 15

So, my doctor referred to my chemo week as “week 15” last Wed. was the start of “week 16” So every Wed. I will count down another week closer to (hopefully) being done with chemo! He won’t promise I need 16 weeks, or if I’ll need more….and trust me I really wanted something in writing 😉 BUT….let’s end on a good note and say Yes to 16 weeks and done. Last treatmemt if we stay on course is around May 29th:)

Update:

Well, good and bad. White blood cell was low – 1,600. But the Doc didn’t seem to be too surprised. Tumor marker went from a 29 to a 23. They don’t even test normal people for cancer unless its over 32…hey! maybe I’m cured and cancer free! I’ll never understand that.

Anyhow, that’s my update, will chat later:)

blood work…

waiting to get bloodwork to see what my count is… hopefully it is! I do live with 2 children, so I have to be realistic;)